Imagine that you are carrying your suitcase and with it, your emotional baggage. You travel through life and pack and unpack your emotional baggage in your own way. Think of a suitcase as that which holds your early childhood memories, which can emotionally weigh heavily upon the bottom of the bag. Incidents of injury, loss, and trauma are wedged into the corners. Life challenges, accommodations, and major life stressors are jammed into the pockets that rest along the side of your suitcase. Preoccupation with people who have disappointed or hurt you are put into the zippered pouch. Moreover, past unhealthy relationships are folded and tightly packed into place.

What I have come to realize is that although I have personally experienced negative events as I travel along life’s journey, I don’t have to haul those experiences around with me. Whether I have lost someone or something that I cared about or have been deeply hurt by someone that I trusted, I have the power to choose how I currently react to what happened to me at different stages in life. I choose to pack lighter as I rid myself of the negative reactions to my history of difficulties and those things that weigh me down.

What you can learn from this is that you can choose to find meaning in your past experiences and emotional baggage. Move the experience of loss or trauma into your narrative. As you unpack, look at the assumptions you make about what happened and become self-aware. Identify what you have actually lost and grieve that which is gone; focus on your strengths that empower you; explore the tasks you need to complete to let go of the overwhelming feelings; and focus on how you have experienced growth because of what happened.

Being that emotion and memory are tied together, be mindful that looking at emotional baggage can be painful. I think it best to have a greater perspective as we all try to make sense out of our stories. Emotional baggage can change our values, so we need to put positive energy into current relationships, make them memorable and value them. Our lives are an adventure. Let’s pack our bag with love, self-compassion and well-being. Let’s focus on finding meaning in life and making sense out of the world. Safe travels!

The pace of a guided imagery is slow, which allows you time to focus on the experience. Read it to yourself. Pause often to experience the relaxing nature of the script, or ask someone to recite it to you, or tape yourself or someone else reading the script and then listen to the recording. Here is the script:

Picture yourself taking a walk in a tranquil place. Imagine a long inviting path. Approach and become aware of your surroundings. Listen to the soothing sounds. Become curious as you visualize this place. As you walk along the path, your feet feel light beneath you. Pay attention to your legs. Focus on them as you sit in your chair, imagining your legs lighter than air, lifting you into each step. As you look ahead, you notice a person sitting on a large rock. Sit alongside this person and say what you need to say.

It is time to move on. Focus on how you are feeling as you say goodbye. Feel yourself grounded. As you continue on, notice someone sitting on a long wooden bench. As you approach, you recognize this person. Be mindful of what you are feeling as your eyes meet and you sit down. This person needs to tell you something. Listen to their words and what you need to hear. Before you move on, reflect on their lasting words. Say goodbye when you are ready.

Continue along the path. Be mindful of what you see, hear and smell. Allow this place to nourish you. Imagine a small chest in front of you. Open the chest. There is a written letter inside personally addressed to you. Read the note.

Now, place the note inside the chest or do with it as you wish. Place your hands over your heart. Take a healing breath.

When “would’vs”, “should’vs”, and “could’vs” get in the way of managing your grief, a guided imagery script can allow you to imagine yourself saying, hearing, and reading the words that bring you solace. You may never find the answers you seek. Often times, those answers die with the person you loved. What you can hope for is that in some small way, a guided imagery will allow you to reflect on your narrative in a positive way and find meaning in it.