Third Revised Updated Edition
But I Didn’t Say Goodbye: Helping Families After a Suicide tells the story, from the perspective of an eleven-year-old boy, Alex, and his family, as they are rocked by suicide and reeling from the aftermath. Through Alex’s eyes, the reader sees the transformation of feelings after going through a suicide from a child’s perspective, although he has the wisdom of a bereaved adult.
Each chapter ends with Alex reflecting 10 years later on his experience, introducing family and friends in his recollections. Barbara Rubel has combined our modern academic theories of grieving, and the research that supports those theories, and then translated them into a readable story for anyone bereaved by suicide.
Through the family’s story, the reader will understand what losing someone to suicide might be like, how to make meaning, and experience posttraumatic growth. This book provides guidance and education for clinicians and families to help suicide loss survivors.
Part 1 offers a basic understanding of suicide postvention, complicated grief, and mourning theories. The chapters in Part 2 build upon one another from the day of the suicide to the anniversary. At the end of each chapter, there are follow-up questions to explore in counseling sessions, support groups, therapy sessions, or at home. At the end of each chapter, Alex, at the age of 21, reflects back on how his father’s death has changed his life, wounding him, but also helping him to grow.
This award winning book explores a trauma-informed and grief-informed approach to helping those who are traumatically bereaved.